Half-assery

Hello, readers! And by “readers,” I mean my husband and whichever friends forgot to purge me from their Google Readers. My idea was that, by committing to blogging about our home repair adventures, we would actually FINISH some of them, so the blog would serve to keep us accountable and on-track.

I was wrong, as I so often am. And because we were never actually FINISHED with anything, I never had “after” photos to post. The shame.

Anyway, it’s 37 years later, and here sits my kitchen, stalled out at 80% done. Maybe at some point, Graham will be old enough to take on some of these projects and finish them for us.

So to keep it real or whatever, here are our “during” photos, complete with my whiny commentary on what is yet to be done. To refresh . . .

Before

(and I mean, before we even moved in. We slapped some paint everywhere just to be able to make food in here without killing ourselves):

During

(The grimy floor stayed, as did everything else, but we put some happy paint on the walls and hacked into the cabinetry like wild animals to accommodate a mini dishwasher.)

(There's my $200 Craigslist fridge! And my cute old oven from 1962.)

(Note the dishwasher hole. And also the empty wine bottle, which you tend to accumulate a lot of when you've got a sparkly gold countertop and a dishwasher hole.)

My mood board, for a little guidance (this mood board will not center, no matter what I do. Halp? Also, I love that on Polylvore, it's saved as my "itchen remodel." Even Polyvore knows it's not finished enough to be called a kitchen.):

And away we go. Now we come to the part where I sheepishly reveal what we've managed to get done in THREE YEARS. Holy. I mean, if I were my boss I would fire myself.

As you enter the kitchen from the dining room. Please note the TV with the giant Dish Network box and cables strewn playfully about. This is my attempt at "steam punk" or "industrial sadness" design. Or not. But here's something fun: we had a gap to fill because the lengths of our stock Ikea cabinetry didn't quite fill up the space on this wall, so we had our cabinetmaker friend make a little wine rack for us to use every inch of space. Also: hardwood floors!

Turning toward the back of the kitchen. I love the tall pantry we put here. Please excuse the childproof locks, which are also Emily-proof, as I can't seem to remove them without chopping at them in a fit of rage.

The back of the kitchen. We couldn't really put cabinetry on this wall because of this stupid door that we don't even use. Now I wish we had just turned that door into a window and really rearranged the footprint of the kitchen. Also, this is really the best view of the mangiest baseboards ever to grace the internets. That's not dirt on the bottom part (I mean, not extra dirt); it's where our quarter round is still missing, three years after we replaced the floors.

Why is this part linking to something? Why does Blogger hate me? Hold me.

The appliances are pretty much in the same spot they were before, except now with a microwave and cabinetry mounted over the stove, and a slim cabinet in between the new (well, used, but newer than 1962) stove.

I still plan to buy a large matching cabinet door from Ikea to put on the side of the stove to make it look more built-in. Actually, I would like all new appliances, but that's another post for another, rage-filled day. Also, my son is obsessed with his letter magnets and shrieks like I am stabbing him whenever I try to take them down, even temporarily.

And finally . . .

The sink wall has the most unfinished stuff remaining. You'll notice our "temporary" beadboard backsplash instead of the mini subway tile from the mood board. You may also notice scary dangling wires everywhere for undermount lighting that does not exist. You may even spy some unfinished trim work, window casings, and spackle that needs to be painted. AND you may have been grimacing at the peeling, gray Ceiling of Despair. (Also, you will notice that my blogging mastery, particularly my formatting skills, are just as half-assed as my home repairs. This is because I am being all meta and employing my Cormac McCarthy-like writing skills to evoke kitcheny feelings of some sort. Despair? Frustration? Pity?)

You might think fixing these issues would be the next items on the agenda.

You would be wrong! I have a quick hallway project that I'm doing this weekend instead. Pfttth.

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